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I Nurse Him Because

I have heard it all about long-term breastfeeding.

“Stop nursing when he’s old enough to ask for it.”

“After a certain age, it’s for the mom’s benefit, not the child’s.”

“He’s never going to be independent.”

“As soon as he has teeth, you need to stop.”

“Inappropriate.”

“He’s just too BIG.  Only babies breastfeed.”

“It’s just gross.”

Etc.  It can get MUCH nastier than that too.

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This post isn’t an argument against any of that.  I don’t have the inclination or the energy to argue.

This is just me and my son, right now, 2 1/4 years in, what nursing means to us.

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The other day he hadn’t nursed quite as much as he usually does and when he finally started nursing, my other breast leaked right through my shirt. That hadn’t happened in many months, and it reminded me just how much nursing changes as you continue.

I’m not the leaky, milky mess I was when he was a newborn.   My breasts are soft, flaccid.  I can sleep on my belly now.  I don’t wear a nursing bra anymore.  My body is becoming more and more my own.

Sometimes he just wants to cuddle when he wakes up in the middle of the night. Sometimes he wants a snack in the afternoon, instead of our usual nursing session in the armchair.

It will be years before he fully weans, but in these subtle ways, it is happening.

I am grateful for these moments we have together, nursing. And sad (a little heartbroken) to see them go.

So here’s my list, off the top of my head, of why I nurse my toddler, right here, right now.

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I nurse him because his big hazel eyes lock mine for 10 minutes on a dark December afternoon

I nurse him because he is two years old and curls his soft, buttery body into my lap, kicks his legs up to my face

I nurse him because I nursed his brother and every day his brother needs me less and less (and some days more and more) and I miss his small body curled into mine

I nurse him because I used to watch my mother nurse my sister and she’d stroke my mother’s neck and play with her necklace and life was slow and quiet then

I nurse him because it reminds me take a break and sit for a while

I nurse him because he says, “Milkies, please,” and I like that he calls it that–his politeness is adorable

I nurse him because oxytocin-joy spreads through my body as he nurses

I nurse him because it allows us to linger in bed on weekend mornings and after his naps

I nurse him because it’s the easy way: easy to get him to sleep, to get him back to sleep, easy to stop a tantrum before it happens

I nurse him because I want to and he wants to

I nurse him because I know our time like this is short, his need for nursing temporary and outgrown in its own time

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I don’t enjoy every second of nursing him.

It would be strange if I did.

In the middle of the night when he pulls on my lips and eyelids and keeps me wide awake when everyone else is sleeping, I want him off me NOW.

But then he falls asleep and sighs and I smell his head that smells exactly like him and it’s just the two of us breathing together in the midnight winter night.

*   *   *

I don’t think everyone needs to nurse their toddler, their preschooler, their child.

But I do know it is normal to do so, that suckling is a biological need that began with nursing, and nursing is the most natural way to fulfill it.

I know that nursing past a certain age doesn’t fit with everyone’s image of mothering.

That’s OK.

But this is what feels right to us, and many more mothers and children than you might expect.

And so, we nurse.

Like this.

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And like this.

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This is our normal, our reasons.

Our love.

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Would you like to share your reasons, the ones unique to only you and your child, wherever you are in your breastfeeding journey?  Comment below 🙂

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72 thoughts on “I Nurse Him Because”

  • I love this. I had a terrible time nursing at the beginning and I had to supplement because my baby was born early and couldn’t gain weight. Books said I would lose my milk, or she would prefer the bottle, but somehow, at nine months, she still loves to nurse and I still have (some) milk and I’m so happy that’s the case. Like your son, Claire mostly likes to nurse during the night (often!) or when she’s upset. It works for us and I hope it continues. All of the moms I know have already weaned well before their babies hit a year, so it’s really nice to hear stories of women who are still nursing. Thank you!

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  • Every single one of your posts brings tears to my eyes. Our sons are the same age. My son and I still nurse because it brings comfort to us both. Our nursing journey is coming to an end. We only nurse in the morning when he first wakes. I love feeling his little feet tucked up against my chest and his little hands nestled in close. It is the best way to start the day especially since we spend our days apart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful nursing story.

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  • my daughter just turned two and we are still nursing. The trust and bond that it has formed between us is irreplaceable. I love the midnight cuddles, the politeness of her asking, the way she study me while she nurses and play with my hair, a necklace, whatever. She knows that I am there for her, and I think that is so important

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  • I love this. I cried. I feel the same way about my son and I. No matter how many times my mother in law or mom nags me to stop breastfeeding my soon to be two year old I won’t. It’s no ones choice but our own.

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  • I am nursing my 4 year old AND my 16 month old. I don’t really have any particular reason other than because it is what we do. It is what we have done since three hours after my daughter was born. It is what we have done all together at least once a day since my son was one day old and I wasn’t sure what to expect, but just melted with happiness and relief and love when she stroked his ear and loved him. It is important to all of us. My daughter said this morning that she wanted only one side today because she was too busy to stay and take both. 4 years old and she is sloooowwwlllyyy weaning. 🙂

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  • Beautifully put- Most people seem to find it distasteful to nurse after about 9 months. I found up to 4 months you are a hero, at about six months it’s a polite ” are you STILL breastfeeding???” and after a year you get ” are you ever going to stop?.” You just have to do what feels normal and natural for your child.

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  • Love this. Before I had my little boy I was definitely in the ‘if they can ask for it they’re too old to have it!! Still nursing at two and a half and will continue til he’s done. Kinda dread losing the panacea that is boobie. I’m his 0,0,0 his centre, his home. His mummy….

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  • I nursed all three of mine for years. The oldest is 37 with a nursing babe of her own and the youngest is 24. Thank God I dared to do my own thing as I have wonderful memories to look back on and smile. I nursed mine for the same reasons.

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  • I will miss it when it’s over, for all of the reasons above. I had to laugh at “because it’s the easy way.” It’s so true. And nursing him everyday, we haven’t come across that somehow special time when nursing was okay yesterday, but not today. Also, I think “why” is a healthy question for children to ask, and I’m not ready to explain to him the reasons it’s not okay to nurse a two-year-old, perhaps because I don’t understand them myself. So often when he’s upset, I realize that nursing is his security blanket- something he’s so sure will always be there… I’m not going to withhold that because of other people’s perceptions.

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  • Hello nursing mothers !
    My baby is almost 9 months old and still going strong with breastfeeding. It is our special time together day and night, she reaches for my breasts and without thinking I open myself up and feed her, it’s just the most natural way of feeling close to her, I plan on breastfeeding as long as she wants, no limits. People have asked me when I will stop and I tell them : whenever she’s ready to stop. Every mom has the right to breastfeed her baby as long as she wants and nobody should make hurtful comments about it ! Breastfeed=unlimited love <3

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  • love. love. love this! the sweetness brings tears to my eyes!! my baby boy is now two and a half, as of last week. he doesn’t nurse often anymore, and sometimes he skips the nursing altogether and just says ‘I just want to hold it mommy!’!! baby led weaning has been a blessing, and has made it easier on us. it’s such a sweet time and I can just really relate to your post…thanks for the share!!

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  • This was such good reading, thank you for sharing. I am currently still breast feeding my nearly 3 yr old daughter. She is my last baby, no more for me.
    I am being nagged & lectured to just simply stop bf, by my in-laws, my husband, my family and friends. “She is to old” “she doesn’t need it” it is disheartening that they can not support my ideals of self- weaning. I love bf and yes at times I don’t feel like it!! However it’s at the stage now where I can’t just stop! My poor little girl wouldn’t understand. I believe she will stop when she is ready. I love the closeness and bond it gives. It has been such a blessing at times. Thanks again fur sharing it’s nice I know I’m not the only one.

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  • Thank you for this! Our nurslings are the same age. For me It’s the way we look at each other and instantly connect and a smile starts to peek through latched lips. It’s the quiet moment that won’t last long. It’s the stop I need in my day and it’s the reconnection it brings. It’s the ‘dank you mumma’ and the ‘more mumma milk Peeez’ that he says without prompting.

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  • I nurse my 27 month old son because it gives us a much needed opportunity to reconnect after his mandatory visits with his dad. He is secure in knowing that mommy is always ready for a cuddle and his “sides, please!” when he comes back home to me.

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  • Love this! My son is 2yrs and 3months. I always thought once id make it to a year thatd be it. Hed suddenly just fall off/detach on his own (if not b4). I never heard too much of breastfeeding past 1 because everybody only talked about the first 6 months and then the 1st yr. So i figured most babies (with the exception of those “mothers who breastfed their teenagers” *insert eye roll* o the media) didn’t nurse long after 1. Anyways…a year came and went and i continue because he wants it. Its normal. Its healthy. and just like u said…its us. Like your son and im sure many other toddlers, nursing has slowed a whole lot since the every 2 hr feedings but is still very much routine and needed. After daycare….in the middle of the night…upon waking up. He calls it Milky too lol And although i dont know if tomorrow will be the day he decides to stop, or next december, im going to cherish the moments as much as i can. Not many mothers can nurse or nurse as long as theyd like so im blessed that our journey was an easy one. So i do it for both my son and for the mothers who didnt get to embark on their ideal breastfeeding journey.

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  • Thank you for writing this. I love nursing my son and all that it does for the two of us. I enjoy reading and hearing of other’s experiences and I do wish more Mamas (and babies) had the pleasure.

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  • I love this. My son is currently 8 months old but I hope to breastfeed up to 2 years, maybe longer. My parents and in-laws aren’t keen – he will be too old, too big etc by then apparently. But if he wants to nurse and I want to nurse him, then what is the problem? I hope I stay as strong when the time comes.

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  • My daughter has just gone 2 years old, and still nurses on demand. I know half the time it’s less about nutrition and more about connection. It helps her go to sleep, it helps her sleep longer as she rolls from one sleep cycle to another, by latching on again, and so sleeps 2-3 hours in the afternoon instead of just 45 mins. It helps her feel better when her teeth are pushing, or she’s coming down with something, or when the world is too much for a few seconds. Some days it’s not great for me, but every day there are delicious moments we have together during her “yum yums” and she wouldn’t have it any other way… And neither would I.

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  • This is beautiful. My 15-month-old daughter still nurses and I share many of your feelings on the matter. My favorite part: It’s the one thing that me and her will share forever. No one else will ever have that connection with her and it feels special.

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  • I still nurse my son who just turned 19 months today! My fiance says he’s getting too big and I need to wean. My response is, “How do you think he got so big?” I had a terrible time nursing in the beginning. But I pushed and pushed and finally built my supply up. We supplemented for the whole first year because I couldn’t keep up. But now that he’s on solids, I make just enough. I love that I still nurse him because when he’s sick, I can supply him with comfort and nourishment. We’ll stop when we are ready and no one can force us. In fact, I just nursed him to sleep. 🙂

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  • Thanks for writing this! My son and I are currently 14.5 months strong in our breastfeeding journey and although it would be “easier” to wean and allow a little more flexibility (I have up pumping long ago), he needs me in a way that only a nursing mother could understand. Plus how can you beat free snuggles and living without the outrageous cost of formula and the chemicals of cows milk?!

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  • Thank you for your words and their perfect timing. I’m at work and my 13 month old sweet boy is home with grandma. In attached to a breast pump right now and all I want is to nurse my baby. I nurse and will keep doing so until he decides it’s enoug, because I don’t know how to be a mother without it. This is my first baby and I dread the moment when I’ll have to give up this amazing connection we have

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  • This was amazing. Thank you for this. I’ve been asked when I plan on stopping, and I don’t have an answer. My 20 month old daughter would probably nurse all day long some days if she could! Most days its about 4-5 times a day still and I’m ok with that. I’m expecting our second in August and am looking forward to tandem nursing now! I don’t foresee my daughter weaning before that point and think this will just be another adventure in parenting!

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  • Oh how I love love loved this!!

    I love to nurse my 16 month old because I love kissing her soft tiny hands when she rests then on me, I love seeing her big beautiful brown eyes looking up at me happy as can be. I love how she is comforted by nursing and i can make her happy at any given moment. I love when she smiles at me while nursing. It’s the best feeling and best bond in the world!!

    My favorite part because I wondered if everyone else felt the same.

    “In the middle of the night when he pulls on my lips and eyelids and keeps me wide awake when everyone else is sleeping, I want him off me NOW.

    But then he falls asleep and sighs and I smell his head that smells exactly like him and it’s just the two of us breathing together in the midnight winter night.”

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  • Thank you. Nursing was a struggle with my older girls. After a rough start, girl number three became a nursing pro. I am determined to let her wean when she wants to! 32 months and going strong.

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  • I love to nurse because it comforts my 16 month old daughter. I love seeing her smile while nursing, I love when she looks up at with me with her beautiful brown eyes filled with happiness and love.

    I love nursing, because I can.

    Favorite part!

    “In the middle of the night when he pulls on my lips and eyelids and keeps me wide awake when everyone else is sleeping, I want him off me NOW.

    But then he falls asleep and sighs and I smell his head that smells exactly like him and it’s just the two of us breathing together in the midnight winter night.”

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  • Breastfeeding is a love hate relationship. I love the feeling of knowing he’s getting the best nutrition, the bonding no comparison – hands down if you’re not breastfeeding you have no clue what you’re missing. So please don’t tell me formula is just as good, because even if nutritionally they were identical, you’re missing out on the bond.

    The hate… Oh so: much every step was hard, frustrating and a huge pain in the butt! There were times I wanted to slap the it’s natural, it’s easy, breast is best people… Give me a break it’s a huge sacrifice and far from easy. Almost forgot about the biting, that’s a real treat!

    Would I do it all over again knowing what I know now? Absolutely no doubt. It’s a gift to my son (and I will hold it over his head for the rest of my life lol)

    I got us to one year, two weeks ago, it’s his turn to get us to two years+ and the thought of stopping is unbearable :'(

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  • I’ve been pregnant and/or nursing for ten years and four children now, each longer than the one before. My last is 3 1/2 and she will nurse until she weans herself, though it’s only at night now. It’s our special thing in the maelstrom that is her brothers. It’s also helped greatly in keeping her healthy, as she’s allergic to some pretty popular antibiotics.

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  • I nurse my 3+year old daughter for all the reasons above. I nurse her because she loves it. She told us as soon as she could, “I love boobie, boobie makes me feel better.” I nurse her because she has the backbone to tell her daddy to leave her alone before latching on when he says she’s getting too big. I nurse her because we are both excited to share my lap with her baby sister in a few weeks, and because she’s stuck it out through no milk and now colostrum, with only the promise that there will be milk again soon. She first nursed swaddled up, held over my shoulders on her stomach, alternately by a nurse and an anesthesiologist, in the OR, during a very long rough complicated cesarean repair. She will nurse until she’s done. She saved my spirit with that first feeding and in the days after, during a grueling recovery. I still nurse her because it is what she needs and what my heart days is right. I’ve stood up to criticism and am lucky enough to be a mother-infant nurse and LC so that I can help other moms know how to do the same.

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  • I am now a grandmother of two granddaughters, one who was nursed into her 2’s and a new granddaughter now nursing. I breastfed their mother until she was well into her 3’s and loved it so much I used to say I missed my calling–I should have lived centuries ago and been a wet nurse! I never cared a damn for what anyone said about how long I was nursing, where I should or shouldn’t nurse her or any other critical comments. I support and envy all these lucky mothers still nursing–enjoy, bask in those big eyes looking up at you, and stay strong! This is your and your baby’s decision, no one else’s. This beautiful time will be gone way too soon!

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  • Thanks for this beautiful post! I still nurse my 3 year old who turns 4 in April.
    Every day a little less, and I know it will eventually stop, but also like you we both love it! (“not all the time cause that would be weird!” Hahaha)… But I do treasure it more every time, and my heart aches for all those times he doesn’t ask for it anymore.
    I don’t do it in public anymore, and almost everyone I know think he is completely weaned, and that makes our short and seldom times nursing that much more special!!
    My heart breaks when I think that it will end sooner than later… And like you I agree that this is not for everyone, that society may have a million reasons to discourage long term breastfeeding, but I have a million reasons why I do it.
    It just really works for us.
    If I could go back in time I would do it like this again every time…(and even longer…)
    Thanks for letting all moms like me (like us) out there know that they are not alone, or crazy, or spoiling their child, or disgusting…. It is ok to do what feels right, what feels comfortable, what is simply easy.
    To nurture our children the way we feel is best.
    I send you a virtual but candid mommy’s embrace.
    Thank You! From the bottom of my heart.

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  • Sometimes I forget to celebrate and enjoy it sometimes i just let it be negative but I dont want to stop, its like I feel like I am not aloud to enjoy it and celebrate it. This really has helped me – so much! My first son was 4.3 when he stopped and my 2nd son is now 3.3 and loves his nums, I am going to enjoy the last of this with him so much now!

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  • Thank you for sharing. This brought tears to my eyes. My son just turned one and I can’t imagine a life without nursing yet. That connection the way he needs me and I am the only one that can fulfill that. It’s special. It comforts me to know I can so easily put him at rest and peace.

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  • I nurse because my children didn’t stop needing it just because they hit a certain age. Before kids, I never imagined nursing an older child. Then I found myself being okay continuing to nurse my 4yo because he wasn’t ready to wean. He did wean when he turned 5 but still comments once in a while that he misses it. And I still nurse his little 2 1/2 year old sister because she says that milkies make her feel better and because when I leave for work she always asks “you come home and nursa me”

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  • Love this! I am still nursing my 2 year old. He turned 2 in December. I had liked the idea of self weaning especially since I thought he was my last baby. It is such an easy parenting tool. I would hate to take it away from him now because I know he won’t understand. Then last month I found out he is not my last baby. We have another on the way:) now, though, even if I wanted to wean, (and let me tell you nursing while pregnant is no picnic), I wouldn’t simply because when his sibling is born he will want to know why he/she can nurse and he had to stop. It would be another way that he would feel slighted because of the new baby. So if he continues to want to (I have heard that many little ones wean due to a change in taste during pregnancy), I suppose I will be tandem nursing late this summer:) I hope to use it as a tool to bring them closer together instead of alienating the older one. Thanks for your post. I thankfully haven’t encountered very much criticism and now when I explain my reasoning and they seem to understand why I wouldn’t wean at this point. I am sure it could get worse the older he gets but we will cross that bridge when it comes:)

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  • Thank you All!! You have really helped with the decision to NOT stop nursing my 18 month old by the time she turns 2. She loves it and so do I. She will be my last one so I want to enjoy it while I can.

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  • I completely relate to all you have said. I’m nursing my 33 month old and my 9 month old. And see no real end in sight. I have always thought it was strange when people would say “once they can ask for it, you know you should stop”. This actually was actually probably one of the many reasons we still continued! Now we have full on discussions about which side, how often, waiting turns…etc. I don’t nurse her in public because I feel uncomfortable to do so…it’s more because its such a relaxing and special time for us it’s best done cuddled up on the couch! It’s the only time I get to sit still with her and drink her in. I will continue until she and I feel it is time to stop. Who knows when!

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  • Nursing my little guy right now. He’s only 9 months and I’m already getting questions about when I’m going to stop. He’s my last baby and I’m in no hurry. I will nurse him as long as we want to. And, I love smelling his hair as he lays sleeping beside me. My favorite thing is when he suddenly stops nursing to look up at me and give me a big smile then goes back to nursing.

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  • Thank you so much for sharing your story.My son is 13 and we still nurse. Mostly in the morning and evening, but also when he’s not feeling good or wakes up scared during the night. I always wanted to breastfeed, but I had a hard time at first. I had a low milk supply and it was a fight to make it without formula for the first six months. That was really my goal, just six months, but when we got there I found I couldn’t bring myself to force a stop. I love the way he looks when his daddy brings him to me in the morning, all soft and sleepy and reaching for me. The way he snuggles next to me in the evening and strokes my chest while he drifts off to sleep. No one else in my family nursed so they don’t really understand, but thankfully no one is pressuring me to stop. If they try, I may have to show them this article!

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  • It’s so sad that our culture takes something so beautiful and natural and tries to make it something weird or perverse. I nursed my daughter until 3 years and 3 months and my son weaned at 4 years and 10 months. That was only 3 months ago. At 44 years old I was a mix of feelings. Sad for that part of my life to be over and also relieved to not be pulled, prodded and poked anymore. But I know my children and I will always have the memories of those beautiful moments of peace together.

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  • I am still successfully nursing my 21.5 month old! I do it for all the same reasons, as well as for the stress relief! What I mean by this, is all the oxytocin and the hormonal changes that occur during this peaceful (sometimes only 10 min) time, I find myself relaxed and stress free. My brain is shut off for a free precious moments, and I get to revel in the moments that are just ours! Also because I truly enjoy the extra snuggle time. My little guy is SO busy (like all little boys), that these are our only times with each other to have a momemtary hug!
    I know these will seem only like selfish reasons (to the rest of the world), but I feel my son also relax and take a break, so I know it is still a benefit for him! Our nursing times are usually when he wakes up in the morning and after naps, when he is tired and has had enough, or when he is sick! (3-4 times a day)

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  • I nurse because it’s a special bond that ONLY I get with my kids. I nursed my daughter for 7 months before a deployment forced me to ween; it was devastating to both of us! At three years old, she still begs for our special quiet time so we can rock, cuddle, and softly sing together. I nurse because it fosters an unbelievably close relationship that’s grounded in comfort and trust. Now I get to nurse my 4 month old son and I savor every single second! I love that I can soothe him no matter the situation and, even when everyone else has given up on getting a few moments of silence, I can brag about my magical touch. They want ME, they know that they can trust me to do whatever it takes to make them happy. And I LOVE being wanted and needed, especially by one so picky in his caregivers. Nursing offers health and an extra boost. As a mother, I will do anything to give my children the best chance at a happy, healthy life as I can. Nursing is the foundation to everything that comes next.

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  • i loved this article because it hits so close to home for all of us mothers who are still nursing their toddlers. I had nursed both of my girls and felt that I had to wean my first one at a year. Why I don’t know and I kick myself for doing it. My second daughter weaned herself at 13 months and now I was blessed to have a son at the age of 47 who has no plans to wean anytime soon and he is 22 months. It is bittersweet knowing too that this is the last time I will ever nurse one of my children. I will let him wean himself and cherish his little feet poking up thru my shirt. His cute little nursing tongue when he smiles up at me peeking thru his little lips. The best gift I have ever given to my kids is taking the time to nurse them

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  • Love your story and I applaud you! Nothing could be more natural and beautiful than nursing that adorable little boy of yours! My girls are 15 and 11 and I nursed them for 3 and 4 years respectively. I nursed them because I believed it was the best possible thing for their health and their brain development. I nursed them because I had read that worldwide the average length of time for breastfeeding was 2-4 years and some medical experts were even suggesting that children should be breastfed up to five years. I breastfed my babies exclusively until they were 6 months old because my pediatrician told me that an infant’s digestive system is not ready for solid food any sooner and that starting cereal at 4 or 5 months can increase their risk of developing allergies. As babies, I breastfed my children whenever they were hungry, wherever I was – in restaurants, in the grocery store, at the mall, in church. After a year I became more private about nursing my children. My parents supported my extended nursing, my in-laws and husband, not so much. I taught my daughters, who were talking by the time they were a year old, to refer to nursing as “more to eat” so that if they asked for it in public it would not be awkward. As they grew older, nursing became less frequent but by age 2, they also didn’t want to stop. Nursing was the best way to put them to sleep, and the best way to comfort them when they were upset. I helped my first daughter wean at age 3 and two months because I was expecting my 2nd baby in 6 months and I didn’t know if it was ok to be nursing a toddler when the new baby was born. I knew my milk would be different for my newborn and I thought I needed to give my breasts time to adjust. My 3 year old was so interested in the baby that was on its way and was completely accepting of the idea that the baby would need mommy’s milk now. My second baby ended up being born 5 months prematurely and weighed only 2 ½ lbs. I pumped milk to feed her from a tiny bottle and wasn’t allowed to nurse her until she was two weeks old. She loved it and I continued to nurse her when she was a toddler and preschooler because she was still so very small for her age and I felt she needed every bit of the valuable nutrients that only breastfeeding can provide. She weaned when she was ready at 4 and like her sister grew to be a healthy active, smart, independent and loving girl who is currently passionate about dance. I do miss that special bonding time they each shared with me and enjoyed so much, and I miss them being little. I am grateful that nursing was a formative part of their early of childhood and my motherhood and now I love watching and supporting them as they grow into the amazing girls that they are.

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  • Ok. I am 63 now and my daughter is 34. I nursed her until she was 22 months old. That was ’80 when nursing was just coming back and not everyone was on board with it. Her older brother was nursed until 15 months when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. They were both thumb suckers too. Best of both worlds. No bottles and no pacifiers. AND I mean no bottles meaning not even breast milk in a bottle. My friends and pioneered the art of Breast feeding back into the mainstream. Just remember to get it simple. You will never get that chance again. What does the commercial say? ” Priceless”.

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  • This is an inspiring story. I just had my first baby 6 days ago & breastfeeding is new to me. I love reading post like this! I personally love it especially the bonding!

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  • I am currently nursing my fourth and she just turned 1 on feb 7th. I hear so much negativity, just like you said. I lean on my husband so much for support and luckily, he is the best at that job. I told him that it’s my decision when I stop and he said it’s not really, it’s her decision and she’ll stop when she’s ready. I love our special time every day. Sometimes its three times in a 24 hr period, sometimes it’s 10 times(and that’s when I don’t like it too much). I will never get this time back with her and I’m hanging on tight!

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  • im still breastfeeding my 4th child, who will be 3 in June! It’s a comfort thing for him and I’m still loving the cuddles, even though it’s annoying too especially in the middle of the nite when he climbs into our bed, it’s been so long since I slept through, but it’s not forever and he loves his Daddas as he calls it! Hopefully he will self wean soon, but till then he is still getting lots of good stuff and and I get lots of cuddles and my husband is very supportive! I’m an older mum being 45 too!

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  • I love the vulnerability & beautiful sharing of this piece.
    I personally have learnt over the years that explaining my reasons to others for how often, for how long, & why I breastfeed is really not necessary. It only supports my need to be right or that I need others approval. Which I don’t!
    I think that breastfeeding really is an experience that varies a lot from person to person along with any beliefs about it. This includes people that have never breastfed.
    Currently I think there is a majority of people that find it a difficult topic to empathise with. How can a person possibly understand something so personal about another persons experience? I’m sure there are many a culture out there where the people wouldn’t bat an eyelid at a woman spending her years nursing infants & toddlers. (Not saying those communities are without judgment also) But of course, our affluent, intellectual culture knows best right? (some may argue disconnected or brainwashed too).
    What I learnt is that anything childrearing related is an intrinsic part of life that triggers people off into all sorts of emotional spaces. So be it!
    Unless a person is genuinely interested in learning I really see no point in discussing such a personal life choice.

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  • Thank you for sharing your stories. I still nurse my 22 month old. Some times I wish I didn’t but most of the time I’m so pleased I do! If she falls it shops tears if she is ill and doesn’t want food I know she will want milky. When I get in from work and she runs to the chair and clears off any toys so I can sit down and nurse her. Its so special, and I know that it won’t be forever. I’m in my twenties and other friend who have babies don’t nurse they don’t understand why I do and why I still want to, they don’t know why I dont want to go out on a night I would rather nurse my baby to sleep in my arms I would rather be woken up by her shouting for mummy in the night. I think breast feeding a toddler needs to become more the norm… people don’t know they are the ones missing out on a very special experience!!!

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  • Thank you for this. It reaffirms why I feed my little girl at 17.5 months. I stopped at 15.5 months with my first and that was fine, she was ready and getting very irritable and distracted and was fine without. This time round my second daughter is a bit more keen on continuing and I’m happy to do so. She points and says boobies, and it makes me smile.
    I’m severely disabled and I love that only I can do this and give this to her.

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  • I just have to say that I wish I had been able to put these words out there. I’m currently nursing my 19 month old and feel very judged by many people. The best answer I give when people (rudely think it’s any of their concern) ask me is that it’s just right for us. My daughter is an independent, spirited toddler who likes to cuddle only when she nurses and I’m a mama who has loved breastfeeding from the beginning, even while working through supply issues caused from getting my period five weeks post-partem (and every 3 1/2-4 weeks since). Thank you for telling your (our) side of the story so beautifully and respectfully.

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